Why does my mind cry with frustration although my friend stay still in from of me?

When a friend comes to me and offers me some gifts which are false, make, acting like love, it gives me sad. I understand his acting but I do not say anything to him. 

He gives me some pleasure gifts on different occasions but it is not tough my mind. My mind does not feel more pleasure then I understand it is not true. It is very light love for the general something, not exceptional anything. 

Actually, I love myself very much I want to love my lover in the same way but his expression is not attractive to me at all. 

Actually, it is mind satisfaction something feeling sadness is not received in a long time in mind. for the reason I decide I will be staying alone and take me away from the nondual life. 

At night I thought about what type of thought I take in my mind. I should take some time with him after that I can talk with him about the matter. 

At one point I thought do not discuss the matter with him at all. I stay with him all the life long but do not share about the mater. 


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